Lifeline
Azra counted the money her mother left on the kitchen table. Their relationship has got tense, got really bad after she firmly rejected her family demand to marry some dickhead in Pakistan, who was supposed to move to London after the wedding.
“And don’t be late.” Her mother won’t even look at her. “Get the milk and the rice and get back home at once. No dawdling.”
That was not exactly Azra’s intention. She was not going to be the family path to better status and inheritance. The honour of her family also meant nothing to her now, not after their fierce fights where she defended her right to grow up, fall in love, know the person she was going to marry and was only abused and ignored. She was going to disappear.
Earlier today she smuggled a rucksack to the café Nero at the corner of their street and ask one friendly barista to keep it there for her, he was very compassionate after she described her situation through tears. She entered the café and looked for him.
“Hi, girl, your stuff is here.” Greeted her he.
“Thank you, I need to dash now.”
“Wow, not so fast. Where will you stay?”
“Frankly, I have no idea. I’ll hit the ground running.”
“Do you have money?”
“Not enough for a hotel room.”
“So you will be on the streets?”
“Don’t worry, I thought through it, I should be fine.”
“Good luck then.”
She left the neighbourhood as fast as she could. Her plan was to leave London too, as soon as possible. Edinburgh, it sounded good, but it was so far.
The coldness of the night severely injured her bravery. It would be stupid to sleep during the night, not with all the creeps wandering and in this weather. Well, never mind. London was beautiful, and she was about to explore it.
For three hours she walked the streets and finally felt a bit tired. She was just sipping from her bottle of water when a friendly tap on the shoulder startled her.
“You look lost.” It was an old lady, in her 50s’, obviously a bit tipsy already. “What’s your name?”
“Azra.”
“I am Sara. So where are you from?”
Azra was born in London, but she knew she was still considered an alien here.
“My family is from Pakistan.”
“Are you working?”
“No, I am still at college.”
“I am well known here, I have a lot of friends. I am loads of fun and I know when to tell you to fuck off. Do you want to meet more people?” Azra hesitated. “Come with me.”
They took few turns along the dark and lively streets until Azra got utterly confused and finally stopped in front of a dodgy bar.
“Hi, girls, this is Azra.” Shot Sara and disappeared inside. The women outside watched with curiosity the puzzled girl. She had so little money even a drink was out of the question. She stepped insecurely from foot to foot.
“You’re alright?”
An older man looked at her benevolently. He was nice, without being incredibly attractive.
“Are you short for money?”
How could he know that?
“Yeah.”
“Me too. I have like fifteen thousand debt and the bank will soon take my house. Here.” He pulled a fiver from his wallet and put them in her hand.
“I am from Scotland. Can I kiss you?”
Azra was really, really confused but before protesting or anything, he kissed her gently on the cheek. She had no business there plus this nuisance, so she continued her aimless wanderings. It looked like the sun will never come. When the first people approached one park near-by, she took her blanket out of the rucksack and pretended she was sleeping while having a picnic. It was weird with all the noisy children and the bright light, but she was too tired and stole a few hours rest. She then found another café Nero and washed in the bathroom.
Bottom line, with the fiver of that kind man, she had a little more than fifty pounds, hardly enough to get to Edinburgh. She needed a small job, at least that was the plan. God knows how would she manage.
The concentrated look on the face of a policeman passing by the café made her nervous. By now she was probably a missing person. She was adamant that she would not talk to the police, despite their differences she did not want her family accused of a crime, neither she wanted to go back. The police were the cat and she was one very frightened, conspicuous mouse. She did not even know London so well and had no idea where was she now. Who would give young girl money around here, leaving the perverts out of the question.
Her best course of action was to look for “help wanted” signs on the shops and hope they were going to offer cash in hand. So her endless quest started. She was unlucky at every takeaway and café on the way, they wanted CVs, IDs, milk from chickens. She just needed a day of work to leave London. In a few hours, she found herself in a completely unknown area. Highgate. Where the hell was she? They sure had a lot of parks here, and not too many places where she could hope to find a job. Definitely not on this parking lot.
A police car slowly passed by her and the officers took a long look at her, sticking like a sore thumb at the parking. She saw a man just getting off his car and approached him quickly.
“Excuse me, do you know what time is it?”
“Half-past one.”
“Thank you. I am looking for a job, cleaning, walking dogs, anything cash in hand. Do you know somebody who might hire me for a day or two?”
“Hmm, I am a manager at the golf club, I might fit you for a caddie. Cleaning balls, holding flags, carrying the bags, do you think you can handle it?”
“Sure!”
“Ok, I’ll give you a chance. You look desperate. You are not into drugs, are you?”
“No, I need the money for a bike.”
“Alright.”
That was one in a million. She was indeed feeling discouraged and terrified for the future. The panic from being a runway was only getting worse with time. To rely only on herself with 50 pounds and a bottle of water, and to hide from the police was more than a girl could handle, but the perspective to get married to a complete stranger was far more sinister. She was not much of a flirt, but dating sounded appealing to her. If she dared. But talking to her parents was like hitting a stone wall with her forehead. All they were concerned was the honour of the family, and the fact that they were living in a country where their culture was alien and backwards, was of little importance. Forced into a relationship out of fear and guilt, sometimes she felt like her hearth has shrunk in her chest and she was short of breath. Once on the street, where those 50 pounds were her lifeline, she suddenly felt liberated from the stress and tension that was eating her from inside.
“Hei, are you listening.” The man had kind eyes. She shook her head.
“Oh, yes, sir.”
“See the guy with the black pants? Help him with his bags.”
Azra found the tasks very relaxing. The vast green fields, funny and witty exchanges of comments between the players, and nothing too complicated for her to do, she did not notice when it was 7 pm already. The manager paid her forty pounds which were a fortune considering her money situation.
“Is this enough for that bike?”
“No, not really.” Smiled Azra. “But it is a start.”
“Come tomorrow, you are a nice girl, maybe I can make it permanent.”
Azra’s heart jumped with joy. Tomorrow too! She needed to find a place to sleep till 12 am, and then she could really use a little more money. But now the tiresome wandering along London’s streets was ahead. Sleeping during the night was a recipe for a disaster.
She walked and walked and walked. The buildings started to look familiar. Soon she passed by Big Ben. Azra preferred these part of the city, her family never hang in in the posh areas, they were living in the dodgy district and rarely were leaving it. Coffee shops looked tempting but she was thrifty. The feelings of loss and fear of the rapid change kept tormenting her. And nevermind that she was looking with positive expectation toward that change, she was not herself out of worries. What if they find her! What if things do not work out and she finds herself jobless, moneyless and homeless! With her hoddie low over her eyes, she slowly marched the streets, trying not to attract any attention. Every police car made her heart sink down to her heels. She was not a rebel, neither a free spirit and was only on the street because the knife had met the bone already. The change had ice-cold fingers petrifying the soul. Maybe she was to discover an ocean when she was out of her little pond, but for now, change was a sister to self-doubt.
Oh, terrific. Three police cars, they were investigating something 20 meters ahead of her. She made a sudden u-turn and stumbled on a man following her, some strange man in a colourful camouflage jacket.
“Where to, my lovely friend?”
“Oh, I am simply having a walk.”
“It is a bit late, don’t you think? What’s your name?”
She thought fast.
“Julie.”
“Ok, Julie, do you want to know how the love of Jesus can change your life. It will save you if you truly accept him in your heart.”
She had no idea how to get rid of him, and the policemen were watching with great interest the suspicious couple so she dashed in an arbitrary direction, with the intruder behind her heels. Oh, god, he wouldn't stop blabbering about Jesus. She was answering with half mouth when he suddenly startled her with a question.
“Do you have where to sleep tonight. Do not lie to me.”
“Why, are you inviting me?”
“Something like that. If you are not afraid of a little housework, there is a farm in Northampton where we offer food and shelter. “
“What work?”
“Do not worry. The church needs strong young men. Strong young men do the Lord's work. Women can relax and be women.”
Sounded as good as dangerous. On the other hand, who would ever think of looking for her among these weirdos.
“There is no way I can get there on my own.”
“Do not worry, we’ll give you a lift. So you agree to go?”
It was the perfect way to disappear till she was 18 and then she could go wherever she wanted.
“Who exactly is running this place?”
“We are the Jesus Army. Wait over there, I need to make a phone call.”
She gave him some space. The stranger lifted his phone.
“Hi. I found a girl. She has nowhere else to go. You still need women? Just try not to molest her as much as those who run away. Ok. Send somebody to give us a lift.”
“Ok, Julie let's go.”
Jesus Army. Well, how bad could it be? Azra stepped lively behind the stranger, her new lifeline, taking her far from the abuse of her freedom and feelings.
Jesus army was an organisation that even tough and callous homeless in London feared. But Azra had no idea.